Huff N Puff Hockey.
Since 1975.
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August
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September
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January
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Rangers 10 Bruins 9.
Back from his 13 month orbit of oblivion, Sputnik was back orbiting the Bruins. The Bruins tried everything in the book to slow him down, with all the hooking and hacking. Somebody on the bench even dropped a dirty bomb, to no avail. There was a brief moment of hope in the second period, though, when a wayward clearing attempt caught him right square in the cosmonuts. In a related story, prior to the skate Rodney was in the washroom circling a moon looking for Klingons.
Late in the game, Bryan "Sieve" Kusiak had a wide open net to shoot at, but hit a skate attached to a pylon. Vic "Premature" Piermattei was flying all night, but had issues with staying onside.
Sources indicated that Locker Room 5, located in the rear of the rink, is actually a rehabbed former insane asylum. Rumor has it that it's still inhabited by looneys, who are let loose Thursday nights for two minutes at a time. It would explain a great many things...
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Speaking of looneys, Coach Joe broke yet another in a long line of twigs. Greenpeace is opening an investigation into global deforestation, which all seems to point to a huge supply of old-growth trees having been cut down over a 40 year period to make sticks that were consistently being shipped to the Chicago suburbs.
In a related story, the Canadian economy is booming after several entrepreneurs have gone into the recycled stick furniture business.
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On a serious note, best of luck to Casper on a full recovery from his current illness. Everyone is hoping for a quick return to action, especially the owner of Kicker's. He's losing his ass right now. Word has it upon his return, Casper will be paired up with Grieco on the Coumadin Line.
HNP Charities have announced the possibility of a skate-a-thon fundraiser. Coach Joe has taken the bull by the horns and started working out, and within only a few days has already started to sport a twelve pack...
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For those who stayed until the bitter end at the tavern last week, two guys shooting pool decided to take full advantage of the plethora of tunes on the jukebox. Doc was deep in conversation when his train of thought was disrupted and he abruptly blurted out, "Is that f***ing Air Supply?" Important safety tip: Don't turn your back on the pool table. You never know who's balls are lined up.
They might be all out of love, but they can't live without you...
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Finally, don't forget to bring your second payment this week.
See Steve "The Reaper" Bosak.
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