Huff N Puff Hockey.    Since 1975.

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23 13


The first week is in the books and the Bruins came out on top 10-8. There were a couple of early season roster moves, with Ricky Wurglitz and Jason "Bird" Rickert starting the season on Double Secret Probation.

Good luck boys, you'll need it.

As the heart of the roster nears AARP status, it was necessary to bring in some yutes. Most of the HNP players only know 'speed' as a movie with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

As Junior Wurgs flew around the ice, most noticed a severe lack of distended midsection, one of the staples of the quintessential HNP skater. When asked how his spawn retained such a slender build, Papa Wurgs stated the obvious: "It was either beer for me or food for the family..."

Thanks to the A-line scholars, Ricky wasted no time acquiring a nickname. Usually it takes a minimum of three skates to see a new player's tendencies, but the braintrust on the top line was quick to judgement on this one. Sorry, Bambi. You're branded.



Q: What does Bird's shot have in common with a yardstick?

A: They're both three feet wide.


Tommy mentioned that he was having a little trouble with his skates, as the blades had rusted a bit. If only he hadn't left them on that cruise ship all summer...


OSHA called and warned us that if you're going to take a slap shot from in close, there will be a fine if you hit the goalie in the face with your stick on the follow-through.

Finally, note to all skaters: Bring sunglasses this week, as Keith will be wearing a white jersey to go with all that blinding white gear. If only Com Ed could harness all that reflective power...




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