Huff N Puff Hockey.
Since 1975.
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August
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September
2011
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October
2011
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November
2011
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December
2011
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January
2012
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February
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March
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April
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May
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The first week is in the books and the Bruins came out on top 10-8. There were a couple of early season roster moves, with Ricky Wurglitz and Jason "Bird" Rickert starting the season on Double Secret Probation.
Good luck boys, you'll need it.
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As the heart of the roster nears AARP status, it was necessary to bring in some yutes. Most of the HNP players only know 'speed' as a movie with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.
As Junior Wurgs flew around the ice, most noticed a severe lack of distended midsection, one of the staples of the quintessential HNP skater. When asked how his spawn retained such a slender build, Papa Wurgs stated the obvious: "It was either beer for me or food for the family..."
Thanks to the A-line scholars, Ricky wasted no time acquiring a nickname. Usually it takes a minimum of three skates to see a new player's tendencies, but the braintrust on the top line was quick to judgement on this one. Sorry, Bambi. You're branded.
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Q: What does Bird's shot have in common with a yardstick?
A: They're both three feet wide.
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Tommy mentioned that he was having a little trouble with his skates, as the blades had rusted a bit. If only he hadn't left them on that cruise ship all summer...
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OSHA called and warned us that if you're going to take a slap shot from in close, there will be a fine if you hit the goalie in the face with your stick on the follow-through.
Finally, note to all skaters: Bring sunglasses this week, as Keith will be wearing a white jersey to go with all that blinding white gear. If only Com Ed could harness all that reflective power...
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